Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous. You get knocked down by the traffic from both sides
My brother Dennis and his wife recently came from Texas for their yearly visit. Every time I ask how he enjoys teaching, he lights up. He’s been at this for over 30 years, so I am always amazed at his continued delight in his work. As a private school teacher he’s not making a huge salary. He often jokes he’ll be working 3 years after he dies just to pay off his bills. Many people never find this kind of joy or contentment in their work. Most people go from job to job, career to career without really going through a healthy career decision process.
I hear this frequently … “Every time I think about my career, my mind goes blank.” Sound familiar? Do you find yourself avoiding or postponing making career choices? Do you notice you’re facing the same problems year after year?
There are a smorgasbord of reasons for career indecision. A friend of mine bemoans the economy as the reason for not moving forward with her career. When I asked what she will do when the economy turns around, she looked dumfounded giving a Scarlett O’Hara response, “I’ll think about that tomorrow”. Why is it some people make bold career moves during these economic times while others languish. Let’s examine some of the reasons why you get stuck and some tips to move forward!
Making changes to any behavior means you have to acknowledge your part in sabotaging your intended outcome. Here are some ways you can perpetuate a negative cycle of indecision ….
Not Concentrating – Like the lady who said her mind goes blank when she thinks about a career move, we can get used to being in a state of perpetual confusion. Could it be that in the past you made decisions that didn’t turn out well or failed? Maybe you aren’t familiar with the process of making decisions.
Labeling & Comparing – Do you hear yourself saying “I’ve never been good at (writing, math, science, etc.)…” or “I’m not as talented in ….. as other people”. These could be early life messages. Ask yourself … “is this absolutely true. What evidence do I have that this is true?”
Relying on External Evidence - “I always wanted to be a teacher, but they’re cutting all those jobs” or “I love cooking, but there’s no money in that field now.” Again, what are you basing this belief on? Have you done research into the career areas where you have an interest? Have you checked with people in the field who may know trends?
Distorting Feedback - “People say I have a talent to …. but I’m too old/young … or I’m not as good as other people in that field”.
Whatever your reasons may be, you can no longer use them as excuses to not change without risking negative consequences to the quality of your life. These self-defeating behaviors lead to increased anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and discouragement, and erosion of self-confidence to name a few. Try these techniques to help break the cycle ….
1. The Benjamin Franklin approach – Ben used to swear by the good old pro’s and con’s list. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center labeling one side Pro’s and the other Con’s. This may sound overly simplistic, but it helps you visualize both outcomes. Focus on what you stand to achieve, not lose. Be careful not to be unrealistic by including things that have a minimal chance of occuring. By the way, it’s always best to get it on paper and out of your thoughts.
2. List the Consequences for Avoiding Career Decisions - If you don’t make a decision now, when will you make one? If you look back on past decisions, usually it’s those actions you didn’t take you regret rather than those you did. Avoidance is generally fear-based. We ask ourselves ‘What if I can’t perform the job? What if I choose the wrong career? What if others don’t approve of my choice?’ We all have that pesky inner voice clamoring for attention. If you are listening, you can be sure it won’t stop talking until you take action!
3. Consider What’s Most Important – Many clients I see throw in complications and minor variables which can disguise what’s really most important. “I want to make my same salary, but I’m not willing to … commute, travel, etc… .” While it’s important to look at a situation from various angles, it can be tempting to get lost in the details or minutia. Prioritize your list down to the “must have’s” and not the “would like to have’s”.
4. Ask for Advice - Don’t be shy about asking someone who might have gone through the same experience. If you find you’re not making progress, seek a professional for help. But make sure you don’t ask everyone you know for their opinion. Too much advice can be counterproductive and perpetuate your feelings of being overwhelmed keeping you spinning. Only you know what’s really going to make you happy.
5. Take Action - In order to gain confidence in your decision, there’s nothing that replaces taking that first step. Ironically, even though it can be fearful, taking action reduces your anxiety and increases your creativity and energy level. Keep a daily note of every time you take action. Know that there will always be a level of uncertainty involved, but practice makes perfect. The more progress you make, the more confident you will become and the more positive your career future will be.
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous. You get knocked down by the traffic from both sides
This is a great article. Thanks for the information.
Great article!
I think Benjamin Franklin got it right and we can too by following the suggestion to make that proverbial two column list and surprising ourselves – sometimes the “con” side of the page really isn’t as awful as we imagined Great column this month…
I like you article,thank you very much!
How come I always think these articles are about me? Your articles remind me that I can get out of my own way and my own head and take a few steps in a new direction .. step by step, inch by inch until I am ready to take that leap. Thank you for always infusing your articles with your great sense of humor along with sharing your wisdom on an otherwise daunting subject. You are the best!
Hey, Susan!
Many thanks for this well-written, timely, wise advice. I’ll be sending it along to friends and clients.
Best,
Elizabeth